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Owning Up
" I can’t believe the changes I’ve incurred.
The whole world stood still-I watched it burn
Sometimes in the midst of the flaming beauty of fire
Their voices rang out like the death of a choir."
" Disappointment burns through your skin like bleach
Respect and dignity is what you can’t teach-
Owning up to what you believe is true."
" Owning up is what you believe is true
It’s true you could achieve what you want to-right?"
" Hanging over your head I see the guilt of your past
Afraid of failure inhabits the ability to last
Trying something else would leave you so insecure
Live within your means is how you endure."
                                        Repeat Chorus
                                        Repeat Verse 1
" I want you to feel lonely
I want you to feel my hate
I want you to feel my shame
I want no one else to be there
                                  For you to blame…."   
I want to drive to the city
I want to find my companion
I want to drive to the city
I want to find my companion
I want to drive to the desert
I want to kill my companion
I want to drive to the desert
I want to kill my companion
So many choices, so many lives
So many choices, so many knives
Some might not notice-an element
of fear. Could be? The end could be near.

What does is matter anyway?


Intoxicating angst you may know
It’s from this angst-through which my life flows
"What in the world could make me hate so much?"
" Could it be your addiction to lust?"
Don’t ever judge something you don’t understand,
although it’s easy to judge, why not its in demand
I hate the way you think, I hate the way that you are
I hate the way you stink
I hate the way you are
Do I have to hear again how
No one pleases you or seems to stick around?
" Please tell me again I want to know
How you’ve been victimized."
" They’re buried beneath the sand-
beneath a pack of lies."

Repeat Chorus


Here another day talkin to myself about
how I used to be something to cherish
------- something that you speak of…
Thinkin about how it don’t make sense---
Why invest all your time to leave someone
                else to perish?
What’s the sense? Why waste time? Just take
an axe and swing it through my temple. You bitch!
Here I am-just another one caught
                in the mess
…left by another one who preceded
        me yet I don’t know them.
        ( Pretty fucked up right?)
Talkin about how you don’t respect---
You know that you’re the fuckin cause of my
headache in the first place?!
What’s the sense? Why waste time?
Just take an axe and swing it through my temple---You bitch!
I don’t want anything, I don’t want anyone
I don’t need anything, I don’t need anyone.
Ask the mime, live not-why?
Poltergeist in my mind,

one more try--live the lie?

Take This

Living once again
I’ve gotten so strong and
I’ve got one more thing for you
I’m talkin about here now-fall now
Holding strong I’ve got one more
down in here to hold. If you
take one thing away, take this disease
I’m talking about how it don’t make sense,
and you’ve gotten so strong, but
I’ve got one more thing for you-I’m
talkin about here now-fall now
                                        Repeat Refrain
                                        I wanna see you fall
                                        I wanna watch you fall
                                        Why… long?
Wanna tell me again?
I wanna know the surprise
I need to see the something
sweet that’s on your eyes
As if I didn’t know---
You spoke to me as f I had no place to go.
My body left a hole
My body left there to rot
My soul and my dignity
      is what you’ve got

Leave this one for me--I will tell him
anything that he’ll believe.
So easily you can please me right?
I want to know
I need to know
I have a right!
and I think you know…
I want it
I need it
I have a right!
Let’s just go from here.
I’ve got no time for you to hear--
What you want to hear so…
Take this and shove this down your throat!
I want this to be your first time--
The first thing you have ever known.
(As if you’d no place to call home!) I never
want to be last. Want you to make me part of your past?
Forward pushing on…
I’ve got no time
For you to taste what you want to taste so…
Taste this and taste it down your throat.
…Never ever gonna live those lies again…
                but you will!
Break the bones sacrifice the skin to dance
Bleeding hearts got no time for quaint romance
Gonna talk, bleed and burn but I’ve got
one more thing for this lesson that’s learned
One time…..we’ve only got one time
Leave this haunted
Pushing and pulling will there be no end
Leave this calling
Pushing and pulling will there be no end
Push hard
Pull through
Skin tears off a smile
Skin hits-bitch break
Click Dark
I’ve always had beliefs maybe one day
I’d get back all the good I’ve done
It’s so wrong to think this way I’ve lost
I’ve grown numb - no faith
Just these condescending overtones in your voice
They warrant this hostility
Test my pride and live this lie
I’ll tell you once-this will not be long
Take all you know and place it in a box
Bury the truth far into the ground
Wait ten years fold when the world has grown cold
Resurrect whatever can be found
Overthrow these lies, break this circle
Of hate and leave this boy…………
Click Dark

Look around, there’s something different
Another piece of what was…
You’re looking on, but feeling helpless
There’s no room to breathe in this mud- it’s all gone
Living such a lie
Here they all come again
Time to fold
Increased weight
Withhold fate
Falling not
Following not
Why do I feel as if someone
has been behind me---the whole time?
I don’t like it much!
He’s born---he’s gone----
What is this following me? Could it be?
Another misrepresentation of life as I know it
One is born---who is born to this hole?
                Who’s born?
Take this away…
Hold on to your name because that’s
All that will be left.
All Songs above © 2001-2003 Crushpile


Restrained and held down, there's no point and no ground.
Now pushed past my break point, you will be silenced.
You take a risk everytime you let the sick inside.
Don't cry for time, just cry for now.
This is a shame.
Wish it all away.
Wash it all away.

Hot Skates
There is always something that keep you from me, like a veil between you and the world.
I've never heard of any reason to make this so painful and hard for you.
There's no big secret to this life is there?
You've got to take your chance at this shot because you've got once chance (might as well) take it now, to make this real and count all the same.
There is no reason for this as all this time is on your hands.
You'll have to leave all you've known buried beneath glass as there's no time left to rewind.
You're left with the choices you've made.

Russian Embassy (They Don't Know Your Face)

There's no life worth living, if you can't fuck up.
(It seems there's) ten-thousand fingers pointing at the ball you've dropped.
As if I give a shit, I never asked your kind.
You've done what you've set out to do so just lay down and die!
It's like the whole damn time -(you're just there to)- you drain my life away. Stealing every last breath.
A corpse left to decay.
It's just a hollow truth, a transparent life.
We were never here, and you were never here.
Because they don't know your name, they only know your face.
They've ever had to try to live outside of their lies.
That's all we've learned how to do.


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